It’s been a while.
An during that “while” I have been enjoying St. Patrick’s Day celebrations, spring break, longer hours at work and honestly feeling quite down about myself.
Something happened this weekend — somewhere between the alcohol and salty snacks, I presume — but I came home with a lasting reminder of this weekend’s festivities, conveniently located right above the waistband of my now ill-fitting skinny jeans.
And it’s bugging me. It’s all I’ve been focusing on: at home, at work in the jungle of mirrors that is a retail store, when I’m sitting, standing, sleeping — you name it. I feel big.
Well, realistically I know there is a myriad of reasons why this little belly bloat won’t go away, firstly being the fact that that time of the month is just around the corner and all my lady friends sure know what that means. I keep reminding myself of that despite the fact that I typically am not one to bloat around my period.
Secondly, I haven’t been working out as hard. I may have mentioned before that I have been doing Insanity and am currently in the recovery week between months 1 and 2. It kind of feels like all the hard work and great results I was seeing from month one have been thrown out the window, but I’m hoping once I get back to the high(er) intensity workouts next week, my little muffin top will melt off. I haven’t been running as much with Insanity — I used to log nearly 30 miles each week in winter, which is basically my “off” season due to the weather and school. I’m currently only running between 10-15 miles a week because I just don’t have time, I’m pretty damn sore, and I want to save my energy to kick ass during my Insanity workouts.
Thirdly, I really don’t ever drink or eat salty foods, so I think I may have just shocked my system. I’ve been drinking some nasty fennel tea to hopefully cleanse my system.
Overall, I’m trying not to sweat it. And what fun is life if you can’t let your inhibitions go every once and a while? Life is about going with the flow, and letting go of control. Control, my favorite, least-favorite word.
I didn’t want this to be a body-focused post, so I apologize to my readers. But these are my thoughts. There’s a lesson in here somewhere, and I’m trying to find it.
Oh, I purchased Angela Liddon’s Oh She Glows Cookbook as well as Cameron Diaz’s Body Book this week, and it couldn’t have been at a more opportune time. Just reading the foreward to Oh She Glows was inspiring because despite my fangirl obsession with Angela’s awesome vegan food blog, I didn’t know that she too once suffered from an eating disorder and has a similar perspective as myself. The Body Book is another awesome snag that I got for 40% off with my Barnes and Noble membership. Cameron is real and focuses on what the body can do if fed optimal nutrition and treated with utmost respect. It is not a diet book, it is a body positivity book. Love it. I’ll give a full review when I finish reading it.